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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24783049">Gamzee and Nepeta Hook Up</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/FailureArtist/pseuds/FailureArtist'>FailureArtist</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Homestuck</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>(though I never say that acronym), Actually consensual and healthy GamNep, Ambigiously Brown Nepeta, Analingus, Anonymous Sex, Black Gamzee, Cunnilingus, Dirty Talk, F/M, Face-Sitting, Fellatio, Hook-Up, Humanstuck, Internet Dating, Large Cock, Marijuana Use, Muscular Girls, Oral Sex, PIV Sex, Size Difference, Size Kink, Unprotected Sex, just plain wish fulfillment, mentioned karnep and meowrails, size queen, slight pet play</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-06-22</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-06-22</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-04 09:22:11</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Explicit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>3,665</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24783049</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/FailureArtist/pseuds/FailureArtist</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Exactly what it says on the tin. Humanstuck Nepeta and Gamzee meet anonymously online and then do the sex. Some food for the five Gamzee/Nepeta shippers out there.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Nepeta Leijon/Gamzee Makara</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>5</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>36</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Gamzee and Nepeta Hook Up</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Risky sex. Do not try this at home.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>You adjust your cat ears hat as you enter the Starbuck's. Already you feel butterflies in your tummy. You are finally going to meet the tomcat you met on a certain dating site. He didn't seem the punctual type though, so you fear you'll have to wait a long time. However, you quickly spot a tall black man with the impressive purple dreads and colorful tattoos sitting at a table. You skip over. He looks up at you.</p><p>“Sup,” he says in a deep, musical voice, “Are you the motherfucker named WetPussyFurever?”</p><p>“Are you PussyDestroyer420?”</p><p>He laughs. “That'd be me, my good bitch.”</p><p>He holds out his right hands. They aren't well-kept and there's a stain on the fingers but you like how huge they are compared to your own when you shake. You are naturally a little brown but his skin is a darker and redder mahogany.</p><p>“Wanna get your caffeine on?” he asks.</p><p>“I can always have coffee at your place. Or mine.”</p><p>“Good brain of yours. Let's get ourselves to my pad. It be closer.”</p><p>It does worry you to go to his place, but you suppose it's easier to leave somewhere then kick someone out. Besides, your cats might get upset if they hear you yowling.</p><p>He pushes his chair back and stands up. At five feet two you come up his stomach. Now you know for sure now he wasn't lying when he put six foot nine on his profile. With his loose purple jeans, you can't tell if he was honest with other measurements. He did not show you any dick pics. Everything about this is on trust.</p><p>You both leave the Starbucks without buying anything. Your arm hooks around his, though it is awkward with the height difference. As you walk down the street, you babble about the latest season of Supernatural, despite him not bringing it up. You don't exchange real names.</p><p>The blocks seem to go on forever but at last you reach his apartment building. It's surprisingly high-class. There's even a concierge. Someone is actually witnessing you go up to his apartment. This observation makes you feel both nervous and relieved.</p><p>You and your new friend get in the elevator together. After he presses the button, he turns to you.</p><p>“Can a brother get a little motherfucking kiss?”</p><p>You nod your head frantically, though you don't know the logistics of such a kiss. He bends over yet you still have to get on your tiptoes to reach him. You put your arms around his long neck and he touches the underside of your arms. He kisses you deeply. He tastes like the most sugary soda and smells like weed. You can feel his lip and tongue piercings. He will be so good when he gets down to eating your pussy.</p><p>You untangle when the elevator stops, but you take his hand as you walk to his apartment. He opens the door and before you can get a look at his apartment you kiss him again. When you pull back, you see what kind of a place your new friend lives in.</p><p>“Sweet pad, ain't it?” your new friend asks.</p><p>“Yeah...it's...big.”</p><p>It is huge, the living room alone the size of most apartments, but it's filled with trash and clutter. It smells like weed and sour milk covered with air freshener. This could be a turn-off, but only if you were capable of being turned-off at this point. It doesn't smell worse than Equius, after all.</p><p>You stop gawking at his big apartment and start gawking at his big crotch. Even in his loose jeans you can now see his erection. You put up your hands like paws.</p><p>“Owo, what's this?” you ask.</p><p>Then you glomp his waist. You can feel his erection twitch against your chest. He could titty fuck you standing up, at least if you had any cleavage.</p><p>“That's my motherfucking bulge, sis!”</p><p>You pull back.</p><p>“Wow! Let's go to the bedroom so I can examine this mew discovery!”</p><p>He grabs your hand and takes you to his bedroom. You don't need to be pulled there. His bedroom is large and cluttered and smells like the rest of the apartment. At least the bed has a frame and sheets. On the walls are framed Insane Clown Posse posters. One of them is signed. Over to one side is a small bathroom, but you don't need to worry about that now.</p><p>You take off your green coat and your hat and hang them on the door knob. Your new friend lifts off his t-shirt. He doesn't have a six pack and his chest is flat but his biceps are impressive. His happy trail is dense and goes up so far. His nipples and navel are pierced with silver and amethyst studs. He has a tattoo of a long-bodied sea goat on his torso.</p><p>“You like getting your look on?” he asks as he flexes a bicep and a dick, “Show me yours.”</p><p>You take off your t-shirt and pants and unhook your bra. Your breasts aren't much bigger than his but you've got way more muscle tone than him. You start doing some power poses.</p><p>“Wicked bod, my wicked sis.”</p><p>“Thanks!”</p><p>“Now it be time for the main attraction under this big tent.”</p><p>He unbuttons his jeans and slowly pulls down the zipper. His dick bulges a little from the fly, along with stray hairs. Slowly again he pushed down his jeans and clown print boxers. Inch after inch of girthy cock come into view. You lick your lips in anticipation. Your heart is beating out of your chest. Finally, all of the cock springs out. It looks to be seven inches and it's not even fully hard. The foreskin is only pulled back halfway over his bulbous purple head.</p><p>“Mee-ooow,” you say softly.</p><p>He grabs his cock and shakes it a little.</p><p>“Come down and show me what them wicked lips can do.”</p><p>You walk over to him in a trance.</p><p>“Kneel,” he says.</p><p>You kneel on one knee. If you did both knees, you'd be too short.</p><p>“Good little bitch,” he tells you as he pats you on the head.</p><p>Your little paw grasps his girth. Your fingers and thumb don't touch. You can smell his musk and feel his heat emanating from his crotch and you love it. However you do worry his foreskin isn't clean. You take an exploratory lick and thankfully he washed up for you. Pumping his cock, you marvel at how it glides. Your new friend groans.</p><p>“Fuck, little sis, that's a motherfucking good start, but the miracle won't be happening until you put that whole mouth over it.”</p><p>You take a big breath. You've been practicing for this. The cock is stuffed into your mouth. It's soon near the back of your throat. Despite your efforts, you can't quite make it to his crotch. You have to grasp what's left. Still, he seems appreciative.</p><p>“Jeeeesus Christ and all the saints, you did it baby girl! You got that miracle going on my monster cock!”</p><p>You hum a “you're welcome” around his girth.</p><p>He pets your head and shoulders.</p><p>“Good little kitty. Damn good little kitty.”</p><p>He is growing longer in your mouth. You feel him twitch against the roof of your mouth as you bob as much as you can. Drooling is pouring down your face. It's hard work blowing someone so hung, but it's worth it.</p><p>Your new friend bucks his hips slightly and you gag a little but that only turns you on more. Your stomach is flipping. Your kitty print panties are getting soaked as you live up to your name. It's strange but you almost feel you could come without touching yourself. Still, you take your unoccupied hand and rub your clit through the cloth.</p><p>He must notice this because he says, “Damn, my little kitty is in heat! Bet you been going around the hood learning yourself on the cocks of every motherfucker!”</p><p>That's not true in the slightest but you still hum yes.</p><p>“Always the innocent little motherfuckers who get down the dirtiest, ain't it?”</p><p>Yes, nobody would ever know that you, Nepeta, the tiny girl who loves cat puns and stuffed animals, would also love huge cocks. It's a delicious little secret. You don't even know the real name of the guy you are blowing.</p><p>You take your mouth off his cock and pump it a few times.</p><p>“Yes, I'm just a dirty little alley cat, meow!” you reply breathlessly.</p><p>Now you take the time to measure his erect cock. The foreskin is now fully back. The cock in total almost the size of your forearm. You are so in shock you fall backwards.</p><p>He laughs a little and you laugh a little too.</p><p>“Maybe you could get on easier if I got my laying on the bed as we get laid.”</p><p>You get up and nod your head.</p><p>He takes off the rest of his clothes before lying on his bed. You crawl up next to him. He's gone a little soft in the meantime but your kisses help resurrect his erection.</p><p>“You really be loving my cock, don't you?”</p><p>“Mmm hmmm. It's a tasty bit of meat!”</p><p>You then put his meat back in your mouth. It's much easier to blow him from this position but your jaw is still sore. You play with his proportionate balls, now easily accessible, to help him along.</p><p>“That so fucking good, sis. Bat that motherfucking yarn.”</p><p>His hand slips to your muscular butt. He rubs it through the cloth. His slight touch is electric with you this turned on. You'd let him fuck your butt if you weren't afraid. Maybe on another day.</p><p>His twitching grows frantic.</p><p>“Oh shit, I close...gonna feed you a lot of milk, kitty, so lap...lap it all up!”</p><p>You weren't planning on doing anything else. His cock swells just a little bit more it unloads its salty warmth straight into your throat. You swallow it. He's moaning a long “fuuuuuuuuck” as his orgasm wrecks him. You pull back but he's still coming. You lick up the thick cum that oozes down his length. Not a great taste, but not bad. You continue licking and kissing until he's soft.</p><p>“Good little kitty bitch,” he says, “That be a few days worth of milk.”</p><p>“I can tell! Thanks for feeding me!”</p><p>“No problem! Wanna soda?”</p><p>He reaches over and picks up a Faygo Red Pop from the floor. You aren't exactly enthused about Faygo but you really need something to drink. After opening it, you down half of it. Your new friend drinks the rest. Indirect kissu?</p><p>“Now let me get my eat on!” he says as he pulls down your wet panties. You giggle as he does. His eyes go wide.</p><p>“Damn, your handle ain't a lie! That's a long-haired cat!”</p><p>“Thanks! I'm glad you like fur.” You frown. “I hate shaving.”</p><p>“Come get your sit up on my face.”</p><p>You oblige him. Your thick muscular thighs wrap around his head. He immediately gets into licking your now ultra-sensitive vulva. You could fall over from pleasure. Your legs are shaking. You wish you weren't so close so you could savor this sensation. Still, his talented tongue quickly puts you over the edge. You grind into his faces as the shocks hit you. You are yowling with pleasure. When you're done, you let him breath. His goatee has your juice all over it.</p><p>“Hoooly shit, baby girl, you came hard as a waterfall!”</p><p>“It's because you're so good.”</p><p>“With a pussy that wicked good tasting, how could a motherfucker not eat it?”</p><p>You look over at his fluffed-up cock.</p><p>“Wow, you're already getting hard again?”</p><p>“I ain't the fastest motherfucker, but I'm fast to get up recuperating!”</p><p>You grab his cock and start pumping it.</p><p>“I really made the right decision with you. Glad I picked your profile!”</p><p>“I motherfucking please as punch I picked up. We be the soulmates of fucking.”</p><p>Your face feels warm. Could you be soulmates? Of fucking?</p><p>“Let's not meowve too fast.”</p><p>You straddle his crotch and rub his growing cock over your wet lips and swollen clit. Though you've just come, you are still ready for more, and your new friend is game too.</p><p>He rubs the outside of your thighs as you work on getting him hard again.</p><p>“Whoooa, you got them thighs that could crush a watermelon! Damn near crushed my motherfucking melon when you got your orgasm on.”</p><p>You giggle. “I couldn't help it when you were so purrfect eating my pussy.”</p><p>“Damn right. Though it would be a motherfucking wicked death getting choked by you.”</p><p>“You know...” You can't believe you're saying this. “I could say the same...”</p><p>“Ah!” he groans as he twitches, “Do you get working on much?”</p><p>“Daily. My best furriend is a fitness instructor. He's more built than me.”</p><p>“Should a motherfucker be jealous?” he asks playfully.</p><p>“Ugh! No! It's purrtonic. He's like an older brother to me.”</p><p>“He sound hot.”</p><p>You roll your eyes. “God, never say that again.”</p><p>“You ready now?”</p><p>He does look fully ready now, but you are afraid you aren't. You wonder if you could get away with just frotting. Yet you've come so far, figuratively and literally. You must have this monster inside you. Though you have played with some sex toys before, none were over seven inches. Seven inches is how big this thing is soft.</p><p>“Just let me finger myself a little,” you say breathlessly as you do so.</p><p>Your fingers are so small, yet his hands would need some manicuring before you let them into yourself. You probe yourself, letting your body relax, until you have three fingers inside yourself.</p><p>He moans, “Oh god, sis, you're killing me.”</p><p>“I'm ready,” you finally reply.</p><p>You line up his rock hard cock with your entrance, take a deep breath, and lower yourself down. Your insides are stretched immediately, Your new friend gives out a long “ffffuuuuck” which you echo until you've finally reached his root. Amazingly, he fits entirely inside you. You may be small but you apparently have a long vagina. Still, you are filled up to the brink. Pushed to your limits. It feels so good you can't keep quiet.</p><p>“Oh god, yesssss!”</p><p>Your new friend laughs. “Fucking miracles all in this bitch, like literally so. Told ya we be the soulmates of fucking.”</p><p>You don't take long to adjust before you start bobbing on his cock. Your new friend helps by thrusting up in time to your moves as he holds unto your hips.</p><p>“Damn, we got that rhythm up and going down!”</p><p>“I'm glad I never skip leg day!”</p><p>He doesn't have much of a chest, but you still put your hands over it. You flick his pierced nipples and he twitches inside of you.</p><p>“Keep that up, sis! Feels like I got myself two clits on my chest! Oh! Better return that miraculous favor of yours.”</p><p>With his thumb he rubs your swollen clit. The simulations is driving you wild. You clench your pussy around him, making him feel even bigger. You are yowling with pleasure.</p><p>“Oh god, sis,” he says over your yowls, “you got that wild cat all up and driving me insane! Fucking killer!”</p><p>“I'm gonna die! I'm gonna die!” you yell between gasps, “This is too good!”</p><p>“They don't call me the Pussy Destroyer for not a motherfucking thing!”</p><p>As you ride his cock, you think this setup, while fantastic, isn't exactly what you want. You want to do something else before you come.</p><p>“I want you to fuck me.” You gasp. “Cat style!”</p><p>He laughs. “Cat style?”</p><p>You groan. “Doggy style!”</p><p>He doesn't need to be asked twice. He practically lifts you off his cock and rolls himself up into position. You get on your hands and knees.</p><p>“I'd be all sorts of amiss if I didn't eat that motherfucking ass!”</p><p>“Make it quick!”</p><p>He puts his entire face in your ass and sticks his tongue in deep and you quiver. If he keeps this up, you might be convinced to let him trying your backdoor. But that's not what your goal is right now.</p><p>“Please, my pussy needs to be fed!”</p><p>He bites your cheek before he goes and feed his cock to your pussy again. He thrusts and you thrust back, regaining your rhythm quickly. His pendulous balls swing against your clit. His huge hands grasped your thighs roughly.</p><p>“Oh, please, bite my neck!”</p><p>“I can't reach your motherfucking neck!”</p><p>You are then aware of how much bigger he is then you. His body completely shadows you. With him, you are just a house cat to his tiger. Still, he takes his nails, the ones too long for fingering, and rakes your neck and back. That's going to leave a mark and it makes you go wild. You push hard against him.</p><p>“Ahh, fuck, yessss! Breed me, breed me!”</p><p>“I can get my breed on?”</p><p>“I'm on the pill!”</p><p>“But I ain't coming until you have your piece of heaven!”</p><p>“Don't worry! I'm close!”</p><p>“Thank god!”</p><p>Your arousal is increasing fast. Despite already coming before, this feels like this orgasm is going to be a big one. You almost feel like pushing it down so you can savor this perfect moment longer. Who knew you and this absolute stranger would be so in-tune? Yet you can't hold back any more. You gasps and scream as your orgasm hits you like a punch in your six pack. Your whole body is spasming. It makes your previous orgasm look like nothing.</p><p>“Oh yeah, come for me, little sis, come on this big cock!”</p><p>“Breed me! Breed me!”</p><p>He gives three big slams and holds you close. He gives a long drawn out “fffffffuck”. His cock seems to grow even bigger for a moment and twitches. You know that dangerously close to your cervix he's unloading his genetic material and it's scary but it turns you on so much. That will keep you warm during your afterglow.</p><p>He pulls out completely and you bemoan the loss though you are very sore and sensitive right now. You turn around.</p><p>“Oh my god, you were soooo good!”</p><p>“Me good? You be the motherfucking bitchtits, little sister!”</p><p>You kiss him on the chin.</p><p>“Hey,” he asks, “do you partake, if you know what I mean?”</p><p>“If you knew my other handle, you wouldn't have to ask. Yes! Bring it on!”</p><p>You both laugh.</p><p>“Just let me go clean up,” you add.</p><p>“I'll get my bong up and running while yo insides get all out and running.”</p><p>You get out of bed and kiss him on the cheek. Then you hobble to the bathroom.</p><p>Though your experience with the bathroom wasn't great, that doesn't matter when you see his giant clown head bong. Your new friend is in grey sweatpants and sitting on a pillow. He pats the pillow next to him. You put on his huge tshirt before you sit down next to him. He passes you the pipe and you inhale deeply. He takes a bigger toke after you. You enjoy the silence together after spending so much time screaming in pleasure.</p><p>The prime kush is starting to work its magic when your new friend asks a question.</p><p>“Hey, now that we got our fluids exchanged, what is your motherfucking name?”</p><p>You point to him. “No, what's yoooooooour motherfucking name?”</p><p>He says “Gamzee” and you say “Nepeta” at the same time then you both laugh and yell “Jinx!”</p><p>“What kinda crazy ass name is Nepeta?”</p><p>“What sorta ass crazy name is Gamzee?”</p><p>You both laugh again. Still, the name “Gamzee” sounds familiar. You're too high to remember where it's from.</p><p>“Hey, you get around much?” he asks.</p><p>“Wow! What a question to ask a lady?”</p><p>“What lady? I just see a fine ass sis!”</p><p>You both laugh.</p><p>You answer, “Nah, I've only been with one boy. And he was tiny.” You hold up your fingers. “We broke up several years ago.”</p><p>“Daaaaamn, that's harsh. He can't help he don't have a miracle in his pants. What 'bout motion in the ocean?”</p><p>You cover your face. “NO! No, it wasn't that! There were other purrblems.” You put down your hand. “But yeah, yeah, That's it. And I've done erotic roleplay with girls but it never led to anything real life. I wish it had.”</p><p>“Hope you catch that pussy some day.”</p><p>You point at him. “How about you?”</p><p>He grins. “Fuuuuck, I ain't the bragging type, but I've been with a lot of motherfuckers. Funny shit is, I used to think I was a big loser until my first told me I got that miracle in my pants.”</p><p>You laugh. “You didn't know you were hung?”</p><p>“I was a good little Pentecostal boy. I ain't looking at pornography. Then I found out I belong in pornography.”</p><p>“I can't imagine you as a choirboy.”</p><p>“I have big ol' problems get my imagining you as a dirty little girl even after fucking you.”</p><p>“True! I can't believe myself!”</p><p>You both laugh.</p><p>You say, “I'm glad you aren't the big dick type to sit on your ivy – I mean rest on your laurels.”</p><p>“Well, I always been the motherfucking pleaser. Gotta give before you get. That what being a motherfucking best friend is all 'bout.”</p><p>“What is a Juggalo?” says a phone ringtone.</p><p>“Speaking of friends,” he says as he goes to his jeans.</p><p>You ask, “Who calls these days?”</p><p>“Probably Karkat.”</p><p>Your blood runs cold. “Vantas?”</p><p>“Yup.”</p><p>“KARKITTY?”</p><p>He takes the phone out of his jeans. “Yup. You wanna talk?”</p><p>“HE'S MY EX-BOYFRIEND!”</p><p>Gamzee takes the call. “Hey, sup my bro. Could you call later? I'm just all busy getting my hang on with your ex. We fucked pretty damn hard.”</p><p>You are dead. Gamzee has killed you.</p>
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